Category: Uncategorized

 

Vaginismus is a condition where the muscles around the vagina tighten involuntarily, which can make penetration or vaginal insertion painful, difficult, or sometimes not possible. These muscle responses are not under conscious control and can occur during sexual activity, tampon or menstrual product insertion, or gynaecological examinations.

Vaginismus can be influenced by a range of physical, emotional, and psychological factors. With appropriate, individualised support, many people can experience significant improvements in comfort, confidence, and sexual wellbeing.

Symptoms:

The main symptom of vaginismus is involuntary tightening of the muscles around the vagina when something is being inserted, which can make penetration painful, difficult, or not possible. This may occur with medical examination equipment, menstrual products, sex toys, fingers, or a penis.

Causal factors:

Vaginismus can be influenced by a range of experiences and circumstances. These may include painful or traumatic sexual experiences, unpleasant medical experiences such as painful examinations or thrush, difficult births, sexual shame, or fear and anxiety around sex and penetration.

The muscle contractions associated with vaginismus are involuntary and not under conscious control. Importantly, vaginismus does not reflect a lack of sexual desire or arousal.

How Therapy Helps:

Sex therapy starts by understanding the pain, including when it occurs, what may be contributing to it, and how the mind and body respond. Therapists can also help reframe stressful thoughts around penetration, such as “it will always hurt” or “my body is broken”.

Education and practical strategies can help clients understand the relationship between pain and anxiety, manage difficult emotions, and reduce self-blame. Clients are also encouraged to pause penetration attempts and explore intimacy without a focus on penetration.

Relaxation techniques, mindfulness, breathwork, and Sensate Focus may be introduced to gradually build comfort with sensual touch. When ready, penetration exercises such as vaginal trainers can be used to gradually increase comfort with vaginal penetration.

Sex therapy can be undertaken individually or with a partner. Couples therapy can help partners better understand vaginismus, reduce pressure around penetration, communicate supportively, and build intimacy outside of penetration.

 

 

Vulvodynia is a condition involving persistent and recurring pain or discomfort in the vulva, the external area surrounding the vaginal opening. It is generally diagnosed when vulval pain has been present for three months or longer without an identifiable cause.

Vulvodynia can affect people in different ways and may have significant impact on sleep, concentration, emotional wellbeing, body image, and sexual relationships. With individualised support, symptoms can often be managed and sexual comfort and confidence can improve. 

Symptoms:

The pain or discomfort associated with vulvodynia can vary from person to person. It may:

– Feel like burning, throbbing, stinging, stabbing, soreness or aching across some or all of the vulva.

– Be constant or intermittent.

– Be triggered by touch, such as during sexual activity, tampon insertion, or wearing tight clothing.

– Be aggravated by pressure, such as sitting for long periods or during exercising.

– Feel worse during or after urination.

Causal factors:

While vulvodynia has no single, clear cause, it is often influenced by a combination of physical and other contributing factors. These may include hormonal changes, such as a drop in oestrogen during menopause, or irritation and increased sensitivity of the nerves in the vulva.

Previous vaginal infections, allergies, or sensitivities to products such as soaps and lubricants may also contribute. Vulvodynia can also be associated with an overactive or tense pelvic floor, where muscles remain contracted or go into spasm, which can make touch and sexual activity uncomfortable.

How Therapy Helps:

Sex therapy begins by understanding how vulvodynia is affecting daily life, relationships, and intimacy. Education can help make sense of the relationship between pain, fear, tension, and anticipation, while providing strategies to manage pain and reduce shame or unhelpful beliefs around the body and sex.

When ready, sex therapy can support the gradual reintroduction of safe, comfortable touch. This may involve exploring which sensations feel pleasurable, neutral, uncomfortable, or painful, as well as becoming more aware of pelvic floor tension. Vulva mapping and relaxation exercises may be used to support this process.

Sensate Focus exercises can also be introduced to gradually build comfort with touch without pressure or a goal of penetration. These exercises encourage curiosity, body awareness, and pleasure, and can begin individually before involving a partner.

Sex therapy may be undertaken individually or with a partner. Couples therapy can also support communication, reduce pressure around sex, and help partners better understand the experience of sexual pain.

 

 

Sexual pain, or dyspareunia, is a common concern characterised by persistent or recurring pain that occurs before, during, or after sexual activity. It can have a range of physical, psychological, or relational contributors, and may have a significant impact on intimacy, sexual confidence, and overall wellbeing. 

Because sexual pain can present in many different ways and have a range of underlying causes, individualised and specialised support can be particularly helpful. MCS provides specialised support for concerns including vulvodynia and vaginismus. 

 

 

Mismatched desire occurs when partners have different levels of interest in sexual intimacy or want sex with different levels of frequency. This is common in relationships and does not necessarily indicate that anything is wrong with either partner. However, differences in desire can sometimes lead to feelings of rejection, inadequacy, shame, frustration, or pressure.

Causal factors:

There may be many factors that can influence sexual desire, and what acts as a “brake” on desire for one person may not affect another. Stress, fatigue, poor self-image, feeling unsupported or misunderstood within the relationship, or feeling overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life can all influence sexual interest.

Feeling pressured by a higher-desire partner can also create a cycle where one partner pursues sexual connection while the other withdraws, which can make the difference in desire feel even greater.

It may also be that one partner experiences responsive rather than spontaneous desire, meaning sexual interest tends to develop once the right conditions are present, such as feeling relaxed, connected, or experiencing pleasurable touch. In these cases, lower desire may not necessarily mean a low sex drive, but may simply reflect that desire needs the right conditions to emerge.

How Therapy Helps:

Sex therapy involves normalising differences in desire and reframing the issue as something that involves both partners, rather than a dysfunction of one person. This can help reduce the shame and rejection that commonly arise around mismatched desire.

Sex therapists explore the experiences and circumstances that influence each partner’s desire, including what helps desire emerge and what may get in the way. They may also explore the types of sex and intimacy each partner enjoys and, where needed, support communication and sexual compatibility. Intimacy exercises may be introduced to help rebuild sexual and emotional connection.

 

 

Kink is an umbrella term for a range of consensual sexual interests and behaviours that may sit outside of what is traditionally considered “conventional” sex. This can include BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism), as well as interests sensations, power exchange,  non-genital body parts, objects, or different forms of sexual or sensory experiences.

Because kink is often misunderstood or stigmatised, it is common for people to experience shame or self-judgement around their sexual interests, particularly when they feel their desires are “different” or outside what is considered typical.