Sexual communication involves being able to share sexual likes, dislikes, desires, needs and boundaries with a sexual partner. Difficulties can arise when there is a breakdown in open, trusting communication, or when there is not enough psychological or physical safety to have these conversations.
Healthy sexual communication creates space to express what kind of sex is desired and support greater sexual connection and satisfaction. This may include discussing kinks and fantasies, sharing past sexual trauma or negative experiences, and communicating what helps sex feel safe, pleasurable, and less likely to trigger a trauma response. It can also involve conversations about sexual health, including STI and BBV status and sexual testing.
Communication is not always verbal. It also involves being attuned to a partner’s body language, eye contact, and vocalisations of pleasure or discomfort. Paying attention to these signals is an important part of maintaining pleasure, comfort, and consent.
How Therapy Helps:
Sex therapy can identify strengths and challenges around sexual communication and provide practical tools for having more open and comfortable conversations about sex. This may include skills for initiating conversations, setting boundaries, checking in with partners, self-advocacy, and active listening.