Low libido, also known as low sex drive, refers to a reduced interest in or desire for sexual activity. It is a common experience and can be short- or long-term, as sexual desire naturally fluctuates throughout a person’s life.
Symptoms:
Low libido may involve wanting sex less often, not feeling interested in sex at all, or experiencing a decrease in the strength of sexual desire. This can extend to different forms of sexual activity, including masturbation. Many people also notice that they think about sex less often.
For some people, low libido may not feel distressing. For others, it can cause stress or upset, particularly when there is a mismatch in desire within a relationship. More information about mismatched desire can be found here.
It is also important to distinguish low libido from asexuality. Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterised by experiencing little to no sexual attraction to others, and is not considered a sexual dysfunction or something that needs to be changed.
Causal factors:
Low libido can be influenced by many different factors, which may overlap and compound one another. These can include:
- Relationship difficulties
- Stress, pain, or anxiety related to sexual difficulties such as vaginismus, vulvodynia, orgasm difficulties, premature ejaculation or erectile difficulties)
- Past sexual trauma or negative sexual experiences
- Stress, anxiety or other mental health concerns
- Hormonal changes
- Perimenopause, menopause and pregnancy, including changes in hormones, discomfort, pain or stress
- Changes in smoking, alcohol, or drug use
- Too little or too much exercise
- Health conditions such as endometriosis, heart disease, cancer, chronic pain, or headaches
- Medications that can affect sexual desire, including some forms of birth control, antidepressants, and blood pressure medications
How Therapy Helps:
Sex therapy begins by normalising and exploring differences in sexual desire, rather than treating low libido as something that is inherently wrong. Sex therapists explore the client’s relationship with sex, including what may be influencing their desire, what kinds of sex they enjoy, and whether low desire may be connected to a lack of sexual satisfaction, stimulation, or fulfilled desires. For example, desire may be affected when sexual experiences do not align with a person’s sexual values or preferences, such as wanting more oral sex, fingering, hand jobs, or kink.
Education around sexual desire can help create more realistic expectations around sex and reduce feelings of shame or guilt. Therapy may also explore thoughts, feelings, and behaviours around sex, while supporting stress management, communication, expressing sexual needs, and building erotic intimacy. Clients can learn to recognise what gets in the way of desire, as well as what helps it emerge, which may include mindfulness or body-awareness practices.
When there is a mismatch in desire within a relationship, sex therapy can help normalise the difference and reframe it as something that involves both partners, rather than a dysfunction of one person.